Mega Man X6: Why?
by Chadius
Summary: No Gameplay and Bad Translation make Chadius... something something... 100% COMPLETE!
1. Prologui

Mega Man X 6 Parody by Chadius  
I now present for your satisfaction. My Megaman X6 parody.  
  
The idea came to me while I was in the shower. My dissapointment at X6 (accompanied with its terrible translation) drove me mad. So I fiddled a bit and wrote this story out. Enjoy!  
  
Cast of Characters I could think up.  
  
X - Thinks he's sooo cool 'cause he's Mega Man version 4.0 (2.0 being the slide, 3.0 being the charge-up shot.) He also gets cool armors from Dr. Light, so Zero is nothing compared to him! At least, that's what he needs to keep saying to himself...  
  
Zero - Zero is the most attractive Reploid in the universe. Good thing he was reprogrammed from Dr. Wily's original design ("KILL EVERYTHING,") or the world would be his oyster. He prides himself as a swordsman and wishes everyone would stop offering themselves to him.  
  
Alia - Main programmer for the Hunter Base, Alia works hard and makes sure that X and Zero's armor is nice and shiny. Continuously reject's X's advances. Continuously ignores Zero's rejections of her advances.  
  
Gate - Alia's old comrade. He created several Mavericks who were later destroyed under mysterious circumstances. Rivals were probably jealous of his work. Well, they can just fu off.  
  
Sigma - Reoccuring Originating Source of Evil (R.O.S.E.) No matter how many times he dies, he reappears in the next Mega Man X game.  
  
LET THE STORY BEGIN!!!  
  
X fires at the giant, full screen robot. Sigma's systems go critical.  
  
Sigma: You may have stopped the space colony from falling, but... I'm gonna kill Zero!  
  
X: Huh?  
  
Sigma: I'll explode and take Zero down!  
  
X: ... Zero's three floors below. Why don't you just concentrate your final attack on me?  
  
Sigma: ....  
  
X: Ew! (1)  
  
Sigma: ...That actually was a good idea. Too late, I hit the button.  
  
X: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Sigma explodes. X is unscathed, but Zero has no left arm. Or legs. Or torso.  
  
X: Zero! Zero! You're dead, aren't you?  
  
Zero: X? Is that you? My optics failed, and I'm losing power fast.  
  
X: I guess you are dead... Mind if I have your saber?  
  
Zero: Can't last much longer... YOU WANT MY WHAT? You're the last person on this planet I thought would ask that.  
  
X: (Shifts eyes) Ew. (Yanks saber.) I'll never forget you man.  
  
Zero: Get me to a repair center. I can survive for a few more hours... X? X? ... Bastard.  
  
X finally returns to the Hunter Base.  
  
X: Well, Sigma's dead. The world is safe.  
  
Alia: The debris decimated the planet... the humans have been forced underground and the reploids can barely work.  
  
X: ... Oh. Well, we're all alive, aren't we?  
  
Signas: Where's Zero?  
  
X: Um... Right. He's in the bathroom... or something... I'll go get him...  
(X runs, hops in a car, drives away, flies away)  
  
Alia: I think Zero's dead.  
  
Signas: AGAIN? Well, this series is over. The coolest character is gone. Unless...  
  
1) Golgo 13: "...." Right before makin' love to a random chick he saved. 


	2. Remnants

MMX 6: Why? by Chadius  
  
PS Every character is copyrighted by Capcom. But since I'm making a parody of it, they have no legal recourse. And since I wrote this story, it is my copyrighted story. OK, I'm done with the legal crud. Enjoy the story... IF YOU CAN!!  
  
It has been three weeks since the destruction of Sigma. The reploids have worked hard to restore the planet to its former glory, but things are tough.  
  
X is having a dream. He and Alia are lying on a bed, and are in a warm embrace.  
  
Alia: You're so cool, X. With your flying Falcon armor, and the superb Fourth armor.  
  
X: Don't forget about the Ultimate armor, babe. And I've got the saber.  
  
Alia: And the saber? Oh yes, you're perfect X! I want you! Want you NOW!  
  
X: Hehe....  
  
Alia: Oh yes! I'll go through the List of Depraved Sexual Acts with you X!  
  
X: Allright... Wait. Reploids can't have sex!  
  
?: Sure they can. But you have to find the right buttons.  
  
X: Zero?  
  
Alia: Zero! (Pushes X out of the way, grabs Zero)  
  
X: Zero! You can even ruin my dreams from beyond the grave? Damn you!  
  
Zero: X, there are more important things than - Alia, let go of that. Ahem. Now that I'm gone, it's up to you to save the world. It will be tough without me, but I'm sure that you can ALIA STOP RUBBING DOWN THERE! Go away, you're annoying.  
  
Alia dissapears in a puff of smoke.  
  
X: You even have the power to destroy my dream babes? Is there any force in this universe that can stop you?  
  
Zero: Hmmm... no.  
  
X: Oh, it doesn't matter. I have the source of your power! (Whoops out Zero's Z-Saber.) It's the "X"-Saber now! To the Xtreme (Wails out on a guitar.)  
  
Zero: It will take more than a sword to be like me. See you later X.  
  
X: Dammit Zero! You can't win anymore! I'm the cooler one! I'm the cooler one! People like me more...  
  
X collapses and sobs.  
  
Meanwhile, he hears Alia calling his name... 


	3. Double Wield

MMX 6 by Chadius  
  
Capcom owns Characters. I own story. Blah blah blah.  
Kudos for the anonymous review, BTB.  
  
Chapter 3 - Double Wield  
  
X finally wakes up, and Alia is staring at him.  
  
Alia: X! X!  
  
X: Iku iku!  
  
(Alia stares at X, absolutely disgusted.)  
  
X: I mean, I'm coming, I'm coming!  
  
Alia continues to stare at X.  
  
X: I mean, I'm awake. What's up?  
  
Alia: There's a gigantic robot wreaking havoc, and the regular Hunters can't do the job.  
  
X: Time to suit up, then. By the way Alia, do you like my long, thick saber?  
  
Alia (crosses arms, gives X the evil eye): Did you yank Zero's saber from his corpse?  
  
X: (shifts eyes) No. I took it so I could remember him. Do you like how big it is?  
  
Alia: (Ignoring him) I'll get your Falcon Armor ready.  
  
READY?   
X teleports in.  
  
X: All right, time to fly!  
  
X jumps, activates the boosters, and zips forward for about half a second. He crashes into the ground.  
  
Alia: Because I had to repair your Falcon Armor so quickly, its dash function is incomplete.  
  
X: You mean... I can't fly.  
  
Alia: Right.  
  
X: Great. So now I can't fly. The charge up beam for this armor (fires small weenie shot) really sucks too. But that's OK, because I have (takes out the Z-Saber)  
  
the "X"-saber! (Wails heavily on a guitar)  
  
X runs up to an enemy.  
  
X: EAT BLADE AND DIE!  
  
X performs one overhanded swing.  
  
X: Armor... so... heavy... can't swing... easily...  
  
Enemy pushes him off a cliff.  
  
X: Ack! Fly away!  
  
X dashes into the wall. THUD  
  
X: Right. Can't fly.  
  
X falls to his demise.  
  
READY?  
  
X: So the saber isn't good because my spiffy armor wasn't designed for swordplay. Well, as long as I have my weiner shot... *sniff* this sucks!  
  
X falls to his knees, crying. 


	4. Zero?

Mega Man X 6: Why? by Chadius  
  
Yes, X died in the last chapter. That's what extra lives are for!  
  
Chapter 4 - Zero?  
  
X meets the Maverick Hunters who sent the distress beacon.  
  
X: Hello friends. I, X, have responded to your distress call.  
  
Hunter A: X! There's a giant robot that suddenly reactivated. It really messed us up before we could crawl away.  
  
X: Don't worry. When I was your age, I too got my ass kicked by weakling robots. You'll get better as time passes. Of course, you won't be as good as I am, but...  
  
Hunter B: There seemed to be a transmitter of some kind sending radio waves at the robot. Maybe if you destroy it...  
  
X: Right. I'll toast that piece of scrap metal. You guys should return to base.  
  
Hunter B: But if you destroy the transmitter, it should be easy to -  
  
X steps through the shutter.   
WARNING!!!!  
  
A small robot shoots radio waves at the robot, reactivating it.  
  
X: Want a fight, huh? Well, even if I do have this now crappy armor, you still have to face the might of -  
  
The robot slams X into the wall.  
  
X: That's it. Eat my WEINER SHOT! (X Fires.) And again! (The shot doesn't damage the robot.) Umm...  
  
X is blown sky high by the robot's bomb.  
  
X: It's not getting hurt. My shots do nothing against it.  
  
Suddenly, a purple figure falls from the sky. The figure forms a strange saber from its hands, and destroys the radio wave robot. The large robot falls to the ground, lifeless.  
  
X: ...Zero?  
  
The purple figure floats away. Another reploid floats in from above.  
  
X: ...Black Armor Zero?  
  
?: High Max... I am called...  
  
X: Why did you speak backwards?  
  
High Max: ...Did you see Zero or not?  
  
X: Yeah, I saw him. Why are you so interested in him?  
  
High Max: Because.... Zero is my-  
  
X: Four dots? Yuck! We just met, buddy.  
  
High Max: He's mine, not yours! I'll kill you to prove it!  
  
X's weiner shots are useless against High Max's weaponry. X desperately goes to plan B.  
  
High Max: This is pathetic. Stop kicking me, it's not damaging me.  
  
X: Maybe this button's your self-destruct button. Or this one. Or this one.  
  
High Max punches X.  
  
High Max: Sorry, reflexes. Seriously, stop pushing my buttons-  
  
High Max kicks X into a wall.  
  
High Max: You are not wanted... keep away from MY Zero! (Flies away.) 


	5. Nightmares

Mega Man X 6: Why? by Chadius  
  
I plan to release a chapter a day. To make up for that initial two day wait, I'm uploading this chapter along with chapter 4. Enjoy!  
  
Chapter 5 - Nightmares  
  
The reploids have gathered in what used to be the capital. A very prominent reploid is a pedestal. His name is Isoc.  
  
Isoc: OK. So everyone knows that it's been difficult to work around here. It's even worse with these strange "nightmare" effects lately.  
  
X: What nightmare?  
  
Aila: Like when that purple-shaped figure destroyed the radio robot -  
  
X: You mean, when it appeared after I destroyed the radio robot.  
  
Isoc: So, whose fault is this?  
  
X: Probably Sigma...  
  
Isoc: Zero's fault! All of the Nightmare shapes look like Zero!  
  
X: WHAT? (pulls out saber) How DARE he!  
  
Alia: I know. Zero was a very good friend....  
  
X: ...grumble...grumble...four...  
  
Isoc: So I've sent eight investigators to search the areas we've seen the nightmare in. So you reploids who were working in those areas should go back there. Don't let those tentacle monsters get to you, though.  
  
Back at hunter base...  
  
Signas: OK, we - and by "we" I mean you, X - are going to investigate those nightmare areas.  
  
X: This is why I'm going through eight stages? Man, that's pathetic.  
  
Signas: Oh?  
  
X: C'mon, let's just say it out loud: I HAVE TO FIGHT EIGHT ROBOT MASTERS.  
  
Signas: (looks around nervously) Robot masters? I - I don't know what you're talking about.  
  
X: Uh-huh. You know - this is getting really repetitive. (pause) Why did it take me so long to say that?  
  
X stares at the boss selection stage.  
  
X: All of the FAQs agree that I should fight Commander Yammark first. I think I'll go to the Amazon Area then.  
  
Alia: And X... If you find Zero...  
  
X: Alia, forget it... (grabs Alia's arm) Drop the Zero, pick the hero, baby! The Xtreme hero! (wails on guitar)  
  
Alia: I was going to say, "If you find Zero, bring him back." Now get off of me, I have to work on... other stuff...  
  
X: Does it involve daydreaming about Zero? Because if it does - (Alia quickly teleports X away.)  
  
Alia: Now, time for a nap. (mumbling) Yes Zero, yes! .... all the way! 


	6. That's not a tentacle!

MMX 6 by Chad Serrant  
  
Chapter 6 - That's not a tentacle!  
  
READY? X arrives in the Amazon Area.  
  
X: Damnit. Well, time to bust up some badass.  
  
X runs into a praying mantis robot. He blows the skin off, but it regenerates a few seconds later.  
  
X: Is my weiner shot the problem? Oh wait, I'll just fly over it.  
  
X dashes right into the mantis. The mantis responds by gutting him and throwing him into a floor of spikes.  
  
READY?  
  
X: Right, I can't fly with this armor anymore. I'll just avoid it, then.  
  
X (finally) ignores the enemies until he notices a reploid. A strange tentacle monster is floating nearby it.  
  
X: Wait, they're both floating in mid-air.  
  
Reploid: Help!  
  
X: Wait, you're in an enclosed square. How do I get inside?  
  
Reploid: Help!  
  
X: ...You wanna say something else?  
  
Reploid: Help!  
  
X: This is NOT Final Fantasy X.  
  
  
  
X: X! Xtreme! (wails on guitar)  
  
Floating tentacle monster approaches civilian reploid.  
  
Reploid: Help!  
  
X: I can't reach ya. But that tentacle monster can't, either.  
  
Tentacle monster goes through the wall.  
  
X: WHAT?  
  
Reploid: Help!  
  
X: Note to idiot: open the door! The switch is right next to you!  
  
Reploid: Help!  
  
Tentacle monster loops its tentacles around the reploid.  
  
Tentacle monster: ....  
  
X: Hey, wait a sec... that's not a tentacle! Oh god NO!  
  
The reploid is converted into an evil robot, who fires at X relentlessly.  
  
X: ... Nothing I could do. Yup, that's it... I am only one Reploid... I can only do so much.  
  
Hundreds of converted reploids fire at X.  
  
X: Ow, ow ow ow... I'm going for the boss now.  
  
X runs for his life, using his weiner shot to its fullest extent. 


	7. Boobies

Narrator: And now we present to you X, and his best friend Zero.  
  
(applause)  
  
X: Welcome to episode 7 of our series, "Mega Man X 6: Why?"  
  
(more applause)  
  
Zero: Just in case-  
  
(audience cheers madly for Zero, often calling out his name. Several hours later, the audience collapses from exhaustion. Coarse cries of "zero..." are still audible from the audience.)  
  
Zero: Like I was SAYING, just in case you're wondering, last night's episode was cancelled due to... oh come on.  
  
X: Zero, just read the cue card.  
  
Zero: No way. I'm not gonna say that. No matter what kind of excuse he makes up, the author was just lazy.  
  
X: Umm... he's kidding folks.  
  
Zero: No I'm not. You hear me, Chadius? YOU WERE LAZY!!!  
  
(Suddenly, a man from the audience runs up to Zero. He proceeds to tackle and choke him.)  
  
Mystery man, definently NOT the author: Call ME lazy, will ya? (looks at audience. Blinks, looks at camera.) Turn that DANG THING OFF!  
  
(The display quickly switches to a color test.)  
  
Narrator: Ahem... The preshow seems to be experiencing... technical difficulties. Without further delay, we bring you:  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 7 - Boobies  
  
X (finally) makes it to the boss' shutter.  
  
X: OK, let's see this guy...  
  
WARNING!!!!  
Commander Yammark enters the room. He looks pretty much like a dragonfly, except the "eyes" are on top of his helmet.   
  
X: ...Hehe... Boobs... hehe...  
  
Yammark: ...Um...I don't know what you're talking about.  
  
X: Your helmet... Boobs...  
  
Yammark: Geez, you're immature.  
  
X: Boobhead. Hehe, Boobyhead.  
  
Yammark: WHAT?  
  
X: BooboobooboobooboobooboobooboobooboobooboobooboobooboobooboobooboobooBOOB!  
  
Yammark: ...I see we're going to be enemies from now on.  
  
Yammark summons dragonflies. They fire at X continuously.  
  
X: Well, they're dealing pidly amounts of damage to me, so I think I'll just IGNORE them.  
  
X blows Yammark away.  
  
X: Well, that was stupid. Gimme your power, boobie.  
  
Yammar Option - Dragonflies help you on offense and defense.  
  
X: Flies... Right... They'll do wonders for me... I'll be "unstoppable" now that I have dragonflies... Of course...  
  
A green orb falls from above.  
  
X: What the? Oh well, back to hunter base you go!  
  
X returns to the Hunter Base.  
  
Alia: Wow! You got some nightmare soul!  
  
X: Huh?  
  
Alia: That green orb you're carrying.  
  
X: Oh.  
  
Alia: Um... How should I describe it...  
  
X: Points.  
  
Alia: No, points are a thing of the past. We "next-gen" games don't use them anymore...  
  
X: POINTS!  
  
Alia: Nightmare Soul can increase your ranking.  
  
X: Hey, just like points!  
  
Alia: Umm, maybe. But nightmare soul is much cooler than points. So they can't be called points!  
  
X: This point system really sucks, you know. At any rate, I'm heading to Infinity Mijinion's stage next. 


	8. Zero!

Mega Man X 6: Why? by Chadius  
  
Radio Station DJ: Hello, who is this?  
  
NON-AUTHOR: Hey, this Chadi- umm, Guy.  
  
DJ: Guess what Chadiguy, you're up to episode 8!  
  
NON-AUTHOR: Yeah! I'm the best author- umm, itis Guy in the world! I'd like to give a shoutout to all of those who reviewed my fanfi- umm, ficulosis. Keep 'em coming!  
  
DJ: Authoritis? Fanficulosis? That was a terrible attempt to hide it. We all know who you are.  
  
  
Chapter 8 - Zero!  
  
X enters the Weapon Testing stage. A large robot appears in the background and starts firing at X.  
  
X: That big robot is firing at me! OK, I'll shoot back.  
  
X tries to turn 90 degrees, but he can only do 180 turns for some reason.  
  
X: This is a side scroller... I forgot. This is a really bad stage. I mean, a background enemy I can't attack?  
  
X is shot repeatedly. He eventually stumbles on a teleporter.  
  
X: Hmm... a teleporter. I think I'll go in.  
  
READY?  
  
X appears on the left side of the screen.  
  
X: Why am I so far to the left? Probably because there's more to this area!  
  
X turns around. The camera moves to the left, and X notices a strange capsule.  
  
X: (Hopping up and down) It's Dr. Light's capsule!  
  
The capsule opens, and a hologram of Dr. Light appears.  
  
Dr. Light: Hello, X.  
  
X: Got any... armor for me?  
  
Dr. Light: We haven't met in three weeks, and the first thing you say is "got any armor?" You ungrateful little brat!  
  
X: But doctor, (posing heroically) I am the world's champion. I must be properly equipped if I am to save the planet from destruction -  
  
Dr. Light: Oh, stop the bullcrap. I'm giving you the arm program for the Blade Armor. It lets you use the charged blade.  
  
X: Cool!  
  
Dr. Light: Except I'm going to make it half-assed and useless compared to the Shadow Armor's blade, you little twit.  
  
X: No! I'll be a good boy, I swear.  
  
Dr. Light: I don't want to hear it from you!  
  
Dr. Light fades away.  
  
X: Jerk. Guy acts like my dad, but he's never actually met me before.  
  
X enters the capsule and recieves the program. X moves onward until he finds a shutter.  
  
WARNING!!!  
  
The purple mist appears. It has a familiar shape.  
  
X: Zero? Why are you purple?  
  
Zero: The Nightmare is so powerful that it changed the color of my body.  
  
X: Hmm... Are you sure this isn't a gay thing?  
  
Zero: What? No! I'm not gay! I'd never be that way!  
  
X: Aha! I knew it! You're not the real Zero!  
  
Zero: Hmm... how?  
  
X: I'll have you know, Zero is very proud of his bisexuality. While I'm not that kind of guy (X looks around nervously to make sure no one contests him,) I always respected Zero's pride.  
  
Nightmare Zero: I see... I guess I'll have to fry your homo-loving ass!  
  
X: I said he was bi... 


	9. Zero.

Chapter 9 - Zero.  
  
And thus, the epic battle between X and Nightmare Zero began.  
  
X: Well, Zero's a short range combatant, so -  
  
Nightmare Zero fires giant cresents at X. X climbs up the wall. Nightmare Zero fires his Z-buster upward.  
  
X: Wait, since when can you fire upwards? Not even I can do that without a special weapon!   
  
Nightmare Zero pounds the ground, and fireballs erupt from the surface. X is hit and falls into a corner. Nightmare Zero approaches with his saber ready...  
  
X: Uh-oh... I mean... Rule number 1: Don't walk up to the GUNman!  
  
X raises his gunarm, now at full charge. Nightmare Zero quickly chops the gunarm off.  
  
X: Hehe... Wanna be friends?  
  
Nightmare Zero: When you're in hell, tell that homo I sent ya!  
  
?: 1) I'm bi, thank you. And 2) Tell Iris I said hi.  
  
Zero quickly guts the Nightmare apparition in the back, from the nave to the chops.  
  
Zero: To think that I'm being represented as a toy...  
  
X: Zero? You're... alive?  
  
Zero: Yes, I am. No thanks to you, I should add.  
  
X: Well, I thought that I wouldn't have enough time to carry me back to base.  
  
Zero: Liar. You just wanted my Saber.  
  
X: ...Yes, I did. Where did you get another-  
  
Zero: X, it's just a saber. Nothing special. I got another one for 99 cents.  
  
X: You mean, this saber isn't special?  
  
Zero: I engraved "Z" on it; that's the only difference. I bet you have a tough time wielding it.  
  
X: No, I don't. (Zero stares at him.) Most of the time.  
  
Zero: Your other arm is a gun, X. You can't wield it two-handed as efficiently as I can.  
  
X: ...Well, maybe if I practice more-  
  
Zero: Pick up your arm, and let's get back to hunter base. I'll lecture you along the way.  
  
5 seconds later, the duo arrive at hunter base.  
  
Zero: ...and that's why we live in a 2 1/2-D world. Hey everyone.  
  
X: Yo, my arm needs repair.  
  
Alia: Zero!  
Signas: Zero!  
(other hunter base characters who are so insignificant that I don't care about them): Zero!  
  
Alia, Signas, and others shove X out of the way and hug zero. X writhes in pain.  
  
An hour later, Zero finally manages to pry everyone off of him. X still writhes in pain.  
  
Signas: I know you haven't been here for a while Zero, but X can only handle so much by himself.  
  
Alia: We're dead without you, Zero. X sucks too much.  
  
Signas: We need your help.  
  
Zero: Don't worry about it. I'll fight for peace!.. That made no sense.  
  
Alia: It's OK Zero.  
  
(Insignificant Hunter Base character): Yeah, every word you say sounds like music to my ears.  
  
Zero: So I'll go to the recycle lab... Would somebody like to repair X?  
  
Signas: Oh, whoops, we forgot! Somebody help X.  
  
X: I fixed myself, thanks to none of you. I'm going to the Central Museum. 


	10. MMRNC

Chapter 10 - MMRNC  
  
Zero enters the recyle lab. A ceiling threatens to crush him, unless he ducks in the right spots. He does, of course, and easily reaches the shutter.  
  
WARNING!!!  
  
Zero: I hate that "WARNING!!!" sign. It takes an hour for the thing to fade away.  
  
The shark - based maverick appears.  
  
Zero: Hello, Nightmare Investigator. What is your name?  
  
Shark-based Maverick: My name is Metal Shark Player.  
  
Zero blinks a few times.  
  
Zero: Excuse me?  
  
MSP: Metal Shark Player.  
  
Zero: Oh my god. That has to be the absolute WORST name for a Maverick boss I have ever heard. I mean, at least Duff McWhalen's name made sense. It was a whale robot. But... Metal Shark Player?  
  
MSP: ...Um...Well...You see... I'm so good at recyling that I can resurrect dead bosses.  
  
Zero blinks repeatedly.  
  
Zero: WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR NAME?  
  
MSP: Um... I... play... with them? Yeah, that's it. I'm a shark that plays with metal.  
  
Zero: Necrophilliac?  
  
MSP: Well, yes. But instead of asking awkward questions, I think we should fight.  
  
Meanwhile, in the central museum, X finds a Dr. Light capsule.  
  
X: OK X, be calm. Smile. And most importantly, be polite.  
  
Dr. Light: Good day, m'boy.  
  
X: Yo, wazzup?  
  
Dr. Light: How dare you use that kind of punk talk with me!  
  
X: Oh crap.  
  
Dr. Light: And now you curse? I was gonna give you this really cool ubergun, but instead I'll give you the helmet for the crappy blade armor.  
  
X: NOOOOO!!!  
  
The vision disappears. X recieves the part. Moving forward, X reaches the shutter.  
  
WARNING!!!  
  
A dung beetle - robot pushes a rock into the arena, making odd Japanese grunts.  
  
X: Good day, Maverick. What's your name?  
  
Dung beetle: Ground Scaravich.  
  
X blinks, then collapses to the floor, laughing.  
  
X: LOL! ROTFLOL!  
  
X: Oh, the MegaMan Robot Naming Committee never fails to make really stupid names. OK, I'm just gonna kill you now.  
  
GS pushes the small rock towards X. X shoots it a couple of times and destroys it. GS runs away.  
  
X: Come back here, coward!  
  
GS returns, carrying a giant rock. X blows it away, and GS retreats, still making Japanese grunts.  
  
X: This is a lot easier than I thought it would be.  
  
GS returns, carrying a mountain.  
  
X: ...Oh crap.  
  
X is crushed by the mountain. GS retreats to get more mountains.  
  
X: ...Ow. Better go to plan B... 


	11. Implementation

Chapter 11 - Implementation  
  
Ground Scaravich rolls a mountain into the arena. He then lifts the rock.  
  
X: OK, rule number two: Try out the new weapons.  
  
Three dragonflies appear around X.  
  
X: ...I get bugs? Oh, fantastic. Now, you're in for it. Yeah. You're gonna pay, now! Well, you can't say I went down easily.  
  
X fires a weak shot. The dragonflies fire with him. He is amazed when the dragonfly shots bypass the boulder and blow several holes in GS.  
  
GS: Ow! No... rock... too... heavy... why... is speech... impaired..?  
  
GS is crushed under the weight of the mountain.  
  
X: Wow, you guys really came in handy. I'll take my power now.  
  
Ground Dash - Crush certain types of rocks with this.  
  
X: Wow. It's even more useless than the dragonflies!  
  
Meanwhile in the recycle lab, Zero prepares to fight the poorly named Metal Shark Player. MSP uses junk to assemble Sting Chameleon, a maverick from the original Megaman X.  
  
MSP: Go my love! Sting him as you have done to me!  
  
Zero: ...I didn't hear that.  
  
Zero is stung by the Chameleon Sting.  
  
MSP: How could you not see that coming? It's the same attack as it was before.  
  
Zero: Before? (Thinking to himself) Oh no, I never fought this guy! X would be able to sneeze on him because he knows its attacks, but me?  
  
MSP: I think I'll bring my partners in on this, too!  
  
MSP ressurects Magna Centipede (from MMX2) and Blast Hornet (from MMX3.) They bomb and ninja star the crap out of Zero.  
  
Zero: But these bosses weren't designed for me! This is terrible implementation!  
  
MSP: Haha, you suck! I think I'll have some four-way fun after they're done with you.  
  
Zero: While four-ways sound very interesting, they are actually quite a strain and are a true test of endurance.  
  
MSP blinks.  
  
Zero: Oh. Right. We're fighting. (Zero throws his saber into MSP, right in the head. The undead bosses fall apart, and MSP drops to the floor.)   
  
Zero: Right. I'll give X this DNA chip for him to analyze (Zero cuts DNA chip from MSP.)  
  
Back at hunter base...  
  
Zero: ...So I cut the chip out.  
  
X: Yeah! More weapons!  
  
Metal Anchor - A bounding weapon used on the ground.  
  
X: Wow, this is even MORE useless than the dragonflies.  
  
Zero: Ahem.  
  
X: Oh right, I owe you some powers.  
  
Yammar Option - Dragonflies help you on offense and defense.  
Sentsuizan - Press Attack + Down buttons in the air.  
Rakukojin - Press Attack + Down buttons in the air.  
  
Zero: Wait, how can they both be Attack + Down?  
  
X: I think the game has a typo. You should press Attack + Up for Sentsuizan.  
  
Zero: You know, little six-year old kids will have a terrible time reading the names of my moves. 


	12. Weak Enemies, Strong Dangers

Chadius screws up again and forgets to update... I am so sorry... (Chadius cries.)  
  
Chapter 12 - Weak enemies, Strong dangers  
  
X: OK, I'm going to the Northpole.  
  
Zero: Hmm... I'll go to the Magma Area. I wish everyone would stop kissing me, I'm trying to save the world here.  
  
X leaves in disgust and teleports. Zero kicks everyone away, and finally gets to the Magma Area.  
  
Zero notices a strange donut robot. It continously fires at him while traveling in a predetermined pattern. It is too fast for Zero, and it gradually wears him down.  
  
Zero: X would do a lot better here. I need more firepower... Of course!  
  
Zero uses the Yammar Option and the dragonflies shoot at the donut. Zero is crushed repeatedly, but he finally destroys the beast.  
  
Zero: Finally, it's over.  
  
Zero falls in front of another donut.  
  
Zero: Ironic. X would do a lot better here, but he's in the northpole area.  
  
Zero is crushed some more by the donut.  
  
Meanwhile, X climbs uphill through a treacherous ice cavern.  
  
X: Hmm. An avalanche. Well, I'll just climb up this wall...  
  
The wall is waaay too slippery for him. X falls, and is buried under the avalanche.  
  
X: I can't climb. Great. I'm as pathetic as my greatgrandfather.  
  
X is trapped in a pit where ice blocks fall.  
  
X: This is almost as bad as those dissapearing block puzzles my greatgrandfather had to go through. Zero's double jump would do wonders here.  
  
X struggles out of the pit and finally finds Dr. Light's capsule.  
  
Dr. Light: Take the part, and get outta my face.  
  
X: Another part for the crappy Blade Armor?  
  
Dr. Light: No, no. I've decided to give you another chance. This is the leg part for the Shadow Armor. You can cling to ceilings with it.  
  
X: Cool! The Shadow Armor's already cooler than the Blade Armor!  
  
Dr. Light: Prove yourself to me and you will recieve even more.  
  
X gets the leg part. He finally reaches the shutter.  
  
WARNING!!!  
  
The room is completely dark, except for a pair of yellow glowing eyes.  
  
X: OK, let's see who it is. Where are you?  
  
Blizzard Wolfang: I see you made it through my gauntlet.  
  
The room lights up, and a large wolf-like reploid stands before X.  
  
BF: Following master Gate's wishes, I must now destroy you!  
  
X: If he's as tough as the stage... Crap!  
  
BF charges at X. X quickly jumps up and away. BF spits an ice block upward. X fires at BF and slides out of the block's way.  
  
X: ...Is that it?  
  
BF: Umm...Well... I can stick to the ceiling and spit at you... like THIS!  
  
X climbs up the side wall and shoots BF some more. He dodges all of the ice blocks spit at him.  
  
X: You're really pathetic, you know that?  
  
BF: No, I'm really tough! I can slide and form ice spikes, too! I'm such a tough boss-  
  
X shoots him in the mouth. X laughs at the pathetic corpse.  
  
X: Geez, you were a pushover. Gimme your power...  
  
Ice Burst - Fires ice blocks you can stand on. 


	13. Finished Business

Chapter 13 - Finished Business  
  
After fighting five giant donuts and falling in lava twice, Zero gets to a Dr. Light capsule.  
  
Zero: Ah, a Dr. Light capsule!  
  
Dr. Light: Hmm? Oh, it's Zero! How are you boy?  
  
Zero: I'm doing well, sir.  
  
Dr. Light: Perfect. I'm sorry Zero, but I haven't made armor for you yet. I only have the specs for that ungrateful creation of mine, X.  
  
Zero: Well, he is trying his best.  
  
Dr. Light: Bah. I would have loved to be your creator. Whoever made you must have been a great man.  
  
Zero (scratches his head): He was a little too wily for me... Anyway, what am I getting for X?  
  
Dr. Light: This is the Arm part for the Shadow Armor. It lets him fire shurikens in three directions and use a more powerful saber.  
  
Zero: Cool. By the way, do you know who repaired me?  
  
Dr. Light: I have no idea, Zero. I'm not sure how X survived, for that matter.  
  
Zero: By the way, if you're just a hologram of a dead man, then how do you keep up on current events? How did you know X and I were damaged after the Virus incident?  
  
Dr. Light: Uhhh... Bye! (The image quickly disappears.)  
  
Zero: He's alive. I'm sure. That wily guy's probably still kicking, too.  
  
Zero gets the body part and reaches the shutter.  
  
WARNING!!!  
  
Zero: Come out, Blaze Heatnix!  
  
A bird appeears.  
  
BH: How did you know my name?  
  
Zero: (Puts away the manual.) ...Lucky guess. Let's fight!  
  
BH: Right! Magma fill: bottom!  
  
Zero leaps to the three floating platforms as magma fills the bottom.  
  
BH: Haha! How did you like my cool attack!  
  
Zero: ...It was... spectacular.  
  
BH: You think so?  
  
BH lands next to Zero.  
  
Zero: Oh yeah. It probably wouldn't kill me, but it would hurt a lot. You know what would hurt me even more?  
  
BH: What would?  
  
Zero: If you flew down there and tried to attack from below.  
  
BH: Yeah! That sounds great!  
  
Zero: Sucker...Huh?  
  
BH enters the magma, swims around for a while, and hits Zero from below.  
  
Zero: How did you survive?  
  
BH: I'm magma proof!  
  
Zero: ...Oh. Well, that was extraordinary!  
  
BH: Really?  
  
Zero: Oh, yeah! You know, before you kill me, I would like to give you my personal tattoo.  
  
BH: Cool! I'll have Zero's tattoo!  
  
Zero: I'll put it on your back, OK? Now just turn around...  
  
BH turns around. Zero giggles as he stabs BH in the back.  
  
Zero: Good thing he floats; I need that DNA chip. 


	14. Round Two

Almost... halfway... there...  
  
Chapter 14 - Round Two  
  
Back at Hunter Base...  
  
Zero: Hey, I'm back! GET OFF OF ME!  
  
Everyone grabs his legs. Except for X, of course.  
  
X: Oh hey Zero. What took you so long?  
  
Zero: It was a really tough stage.  
  
X: Uh-huh, I'm sure it was.  
  
Zero: Oh, I need to adapt some weapons-  
  
X quickly grabs and analyzes the DNA.  
  
Magma Blade - Fires a wide-range blade from Saber.  
  
Zero: X, my weapon... OH GOD! STOP SHOWING ME THAT! Work and love never mix!  
  
X laughs at Zero.  
  
Shoezan - Press Attack button while holding UP!  
Hydroga - Press jump while holding UP!  
  
Zero: Yes!  
  
Zero high jumps and clings to the ceiling so no one may grope him.  
  
Zero: Ah man, this is sweet! I feel like hanging out somewhere... Inami Temple!  
  
X: ...Isn't anyone going to grab me?  
  
Tumbleweeds pass by.  
  
X: How did tumbleweeds get in the base? Reminds me of those fireballs I found in the Weapon Center. I didn't finish that, did I?  
  
At the Weapon Center, Illumina appears in the background.  
  
X: Oh right, you again. That's why I hated this place. But now...  
  
X uses the Magma Blade on Illumina's power cables. Illumina is quickly destroyed.  
  
X: I have COOL WEAPONS! Oh yeah!  
  
X reaches the shutter.  
  
WARNING!  
  
A tube-like robot appears.  
  
IM: I am Infinity Mijinion!  
  
X: ...What animal are you?  
  
IM: Huh?  
  
X: Every Maverick I've ever fought has been based on an animal or a plant. But you're... a tube.  
  
IM: I'm a Mijinion.  
  
X: ...OK. I'll assume you're a teddy bear, Infinity Teddy Bear... How did you clone yourself 50 times? Ahh! Bubbles!  
  
X is surrounded by bubbles and quickly slashes them. IM shoots him with several Ray Arrows.  
  
X: Teddy Bears can't do that!  
  
IM: I told you, I'm a Mijinion!  
  
X: OK, Mr. Mijinion. Have some of this!  
  
X injects IM with a powerful anti-virus.  
  
IM: What?  
  
X: Hey, Dr. Light gave me the world's greatest anti-virus program! It even survived the Sigma Virus. And erased my memories of Zero. No wait! Wrong MMX5 alternate ending.  
  
IM: NOOOO!!!  
  
IM is deleted. The anti-virus program is actually a data eating virus!  
  
X: Ew... Why did Dr. Light give me that? Well, nice knowing ya, Teddy.   
  
(X shuts his eyes and ponders a bit.)  
  
X: Mustn't look at remains... But can't resist...  
  
X takes a glance at IM's remnants and barfs. 


	15. Fan Club

Whoops... Sorry about uploading the same chapter 3 times.  
  
Chapter 15 - Fan Club  
  
Zero gets to the Inami temple. It is raining heavily.  
  
Zero: Hmm? This must be acid rain or something. It's tearing through my armor. I have to destroy some generators.  
  
Zero destroys several generators, and notices a small cavern. It is lined with spikes. At the end of the hall, a Dr. Light capsule appears!  
  
Zero: ...Crap. Time to evoke the cheapest trick in the book...  
  
Zero lets a bat hit him. He begins blinking.  
  
Zero: SUPER MEGA HYPER INVINCIBILITY CHEAT!  
  
Zero dashes through the cavern, using his invincibility to avoid certain doom with the spikes.  
  
Dr. Light: Zero? Are you alright?  
  
Zero: Just a bruised ego.  
  
Dr. Light: Here's the body part for the Shadow Armor. It increases X's resistance. I'll try to find something for you, Zero.  
  
Zero: Um... you haven't analyzed me, doctor.  
  
Dr. Light: You're right... Of course! GET OVER HERE!  
  
Dr. Light's hologram drags Zero into the capsule. The door closes.  
  
Zero: What are you doing with that? No! Don't put it there! C'mon, a human and a reploid? I'm the son of one of your wiliest enemies; aren't you a bit - EWW!!  
  
Zero breaks free from the capsule.  
  
Zero: ...Actually, that felt pretty good. But there's no time to play; the world needs a savior!  
  
Zero turns around and remembers the spike cavern.  
  
Dr. Light: Lover boy... use the secret exit. (opens secret exit hatch.) And don't tell X...  
  
Zero shudders. Then he reaches the shutter.  
WARNING!!!  
  
A Ginormous turtle enters the room.  
  
Turtle: Zero! Oh my god, I'm your greatest fan in the whole wide world!  
  
Zero: Rainy Turtloid? You sent me 3 million emails in the last month!  
  
RT: You're soooo cool, with your big sword, and you long hair, and your-  
  
Zero: Whoa buddy. I don't think I can... (RT is twice as tall and three times as wide.) handle you.  
  
RT: NO! If I can't have you, no one will!  
  
RT rolls into a ball and repeatedly runs Zero over.  
  
Zero: Hey, hey. I'm flexible. Calm down.  
  
RT: What? How flexible? Which positions? Can I pour my meteor rain all over you? 'Cause I'm the dominant one around here, and if you won't let me-  
  
Zero: Just because I rejected you doesn't mean you should become jealous.  
  
RT: Oh, I'm sorry.  
  
Zero: We should head to a bar. But before you do, can you gimme your DNA chip?  
  
RT: OK, buddy. Here it is. Let's head out. I have this great leather outfit that will - aaack!  
  
RT, after plucking out his brain, collapses. Zero wipes a tear.  
  
Zero: I'm sorry. But the less people trying to grope me, the better. 


	16. Talk to the Light

Chapter 16 - Talk to the Light  
  
X and Zero return to the Hunter Base. Zero sticks to the ceiling before he can be groped, and X grabs the DNA chips Zero found.  
  
Meteor Rain - Fires the meteor rain upward.  
Ensuizan - Press weapon + down buttons.  
Rekkoha - Hurt enemies on the same screen.  
  
Signas: Well, there's just Shield Sheldon remaining.  
  
X; And I have a few armor parts to collect. I'm heading to the Amazon Area. I hope you can handle the job, Zero.  
  
Zero: I'll be fine. (Zero chops the ladder before Alia can grope him)  
  
X: See ya!  
  
X finds the Dr. Light capsule.  
  
Dr. Light: Where's Zero? I have a present for him...  
  
X: He's not here. Gimme my stuff!  
  
Dr. Light: But where is he? I wanted to show him something...  
  
X: You could show me something.  
  
Dr. Light: Fine, here. This is the leg part for that crappy Blade Armor. It lets you dash in any direction in midair... or something.  
  
X gets the part.  
  
X: Wait a sec... I have all of the pieces for the shadow armor.  
  
Dr. Light: Hmph. Now you realize that?  
  
X: Yeah, I forgot.  
  
Dr. Light: Well, I have something even better for you, provided you send this message to Zero...  
  
Meanwhile, at the Laser Institute, Zero has fun jumping on invisible platforms. He eventually reaches the Dr. Light capsule.  
  
Dr. Light: Zero? Here so soon?  
  
Zero: ...Yeah, I guess. What do you mean "so soon?"  
  
Dr. Light: That little brat didn't relay the message? Oh, he'll get no armor from me!  
  
Zero: Oh, the message! I um forgot about it! And he told me not to forget it. This is all my fault.  
  
Dr. Light: Oh. Well that's different. It's OK, Zero. I don't mind. I'll just give you the last part for the Blade Armor. Now step inside...  
  
Zero: OK, doctor. But no funny business this tim- AHH!  
  
The capsule closes. The capsule lights up repeatedly as sparks fly from the capsule. Zero pops out.  
  
Zero: I feel like I'm making out with the nemesis of my creator...  
  
Dr. Light: It takes a while to charge up, but when it's at full power, your power will be comparable to X.  
  
Zero: ...OK, I guess...  
  
Dr. Light: And give that other program to X. Make sure you apologize for forgetting the message.  
  
Zero: I will...  
  
Zero reaches the shutter.  
WARNING!!!  
  
A clam-like robot appears.  
  
Clam robot: I'm Shield Sheldon. I've recieved another chance. I will start by killing you!  
  
Zero: Hmm. Can't we talk this over? Let's shake over it. (Zero extends one hand and places the other on his saber.)  
  
SS: NO! I've heard about your tactics, and I'm not going to fall for them.  
  
SS throws his shell at Zero, knocking away his saber and crushing his chest.  
  
SS: Well, what now? I still have my shells, and you do not. I have the power. You do not. Your saber is down. My shells are at full power! Nothing can stop me! I will kill you now!  
  
Zero: Hmm... Strange power activating... Armor getting darker... Strange Anime/Dragon Ball style charge up aura forming... AAAHHHHHHH!!! 


	17. Jackass

Chapter 17 - Jackass  
  
Zero, surrounded in an Anime/Dragon Ball style charge up aura, charges up. Shield Sheldon stares in awe as Zero's wounds are repaired, the Z-saber returns to his hands, and his armor becomes black.  
  
SS: What?  
  
Zero: Whoa. It's like when I was high on the Sigma virus... But somehow cooler! I feel... invincible!  
  
SS stares in more awe as his shell projectiles do nothing to Zero. Zero is too busy staring at himself to notice.  
  
Zero: And my sword is so much longer... Ooooooh! The POWER!  
  
SS: Time to raise my guard shell. Even if you hit me, I'll block and counterattack it! Hahahahahahahahaha...  
  
Zero: I don't care.  
  
Zero pounds the ground with his fist. Shield Sheldon's last memory consists of watching the room light up with destructive waves of pure energy.  
  
SS: Crap.  
  
And in an instant, the Laser Institute is reduced to a pile of ashes. Zero surges with energy and floats above the rubble.  
  
Zero: Oh right, I need the DNA chip.  
  
Zero lands, and takes a knee. He extends his right palm outward and concentrates.   
  
Zero: DNA - form!  
  
Shield Sheldon's DNA chip reconstructs itself in Zero's hand. A wave of energy bursts from Zero, and his armor changes back to red.  
  
Zero: ...Whoa. Maybe I overdid it.  
  
Shield Sheldon's head falls next to Zero's feet.  
  
Zero: What DID Dr. Light give me?  
  
In the Amazon Area, X reaches the shutter.  
WARNING!!!  
  
X: What the?  
  
A navy blue reploid descends from above. He wears something similar to a cowboy hat.  
  
X: Oh geez. Dynamo.  
  
Dynamo: Did ya miss me from X5?  
  
X: No... Actually, I do.  
  
Dynamo: Really?  
  
X: Yup. I've been trying to figure out why I haven't been able to kill you.  
  
Dynamo: Pushy as usual. Do you have any nightmare soul?  
  
X: Oh no, I haven't gotten any points since I realized how useless they are.  
  
Dynamo: They're not points. They increase your ranking so you can equip more parts-  
  
X: Stop it, stop it. I don't need parts. All I need is -  
  
X pulls out Meteor Rain, dashes right in front of Dynamo, and plasters him into the ceiling.  
  
X: A can of whupass!!! To the eXtreme! (wails on guitar)  
  
Dynamo: You ARE strong... I think I'll sit this fight out. See ya!  
  
X: NOOO! You MUST DIE NOW, biatch!!!  
  
Dynamo: Jenna! (teleports away.)  
  
X: Damn lack of voice acting, I can't speak Japanese... Lousy Jackass.  
  
X notices a bright light and a huge explosion from afar.  
  
X: Isn't that where the laser institute is? I'd better head back to base. 


	18. Finally, Gate

X returns to the Hunter Base.  
  
Signas: Alia detected a giant explosion at the Laser Institute.  
  
X: Yeah, I came back because I saw the explosion. Let's hope Zero survived. (whispering) I'll need a damage buffer when we fight Sigma.  
  
Zero finally teleports into base.  
  
Zero: Hey everybody.  
  
X: Zero!  
  
X hugs Zero. Everyone is so surprised by this action that they stay away from X and Zero.  
  
X: I was worried. I didn't know if you survived, and for a second, I thought you were...  
  
X (finally) realizes what he is doing. He quickly breaks away and backs off.  
  
X: ...Dead. How else would I get my precious DNA chip? It's not like I am secretly in love with you are anything like that. I just leech off of your overwhelming charisma.  
  
Zero: Right... the DNA chip. Here you go.  
  
Guard Shell - Shield's enemy's shot for a counter attack.  
  
X: Hmm... for both of us? Odd... this doesn't feel exactly like Shield Sheldon's DNA...  
  
Zero (thinking): Maybe my cool uber-power ruined the power transfer?  
  
X: Oh well. Hey, there seems to be an armor program, but it's really scrambled. I'll try to decipher it. Might take a while.  
  
Zero: Oh...  
  
Alia: Attention! We're getting a transmission from... Gate?  
  
Gate: Fu fu. Welcome to my nightmare.  
  
X: We've been in the nightmare for several weeks, you idiot.  
  
Gate: Fu you. I've been waiting for someone to destroy my investigators.  
  
Zero: Why not use them to take over the world?  
  
Gate: ... I didn't fu that far. The point is I'm happy you fu lived up to my expectations.  
  
X: It was a test. Right. That was very dumb.  
  
Gate: I'm Fuing the coordinates of my super secret stealth hidden laboratory/fortress to you. Come and fu me, if you fu.  
  
X: Fu?  
  
Gate: (laughing) FU FU Fu fu fu...  
  
Alia: The transmission has ended.  
  
X: The idiot GAVE us his laboratory's coordinates.  
  
Zero: After we fued his Nightmare Investigators. Let's just go and fu him. 


	19. Enter

Another Double Update!  
  
Chapter 19 - Enter  
  
X and Zero arrive at a large hole in the ground.  
  
X: Alia, there's a big hole in the ground. Are you sure these are the right coordinates?  
  
Alia: Yes, dumbass. Thank god you'll lose communications once you go in there. I won't have to listen to your sorry ass. Oh, tell Zero I said hi...  
  
X: Grr... Zero, Alia said hi.  
  
Zero: Right. Let's go.  
  
They drop in the hole. It's quite deep.  
  
Zero lands.  
  
Zero: X?  
  
X: ...Done! I'll be right there!  
  
A robot ninja lands near Zero. Zero readies his saber.  
  
Ninja: This Shadow Armor is soooo cool.  
  
Zero: X?  
  
X (singing): I am cool ninja, ninjas are so cool. Everyone wants to be a ninja...  
  
X and Zero reach a wall with lots of spikes on it. The room has a low ceiling.  
  
X: Can't jump over...  
  
Zero uses Hydroga. He leaps to the ceiling, clings to it by his feet, and dashes over the wall.  
  
X: Now help me up.  
  
Zero: X, can't you do it yourself?  
  
X: Hmm... Right! I'm cool ninja!  
  
X high jumps to the ceiling, clings and dashes over the wall.  
  
X: Haha! See Zero? I can do it too!  
  
Zero: Right. How about helping me beat that totem pole?  
  
Zero slashes the bottom part. X hangs back and charges up his X-buster.  
  
X: I am the master of long range! And I am kick ass ninja! TAKE IT!  
  
X swings his saber.  
  
Zero: What?  
  
Zero is pounded by the upper half of the totem pole.  
  
X: Umm... pea shooter, activate!  
  
X fires shots at random 45 degree angles.   
  
Zero: X, what the heck was that?  
  
X: I guess kick ass ninjas can't fire guns. Oh look, rising magma.  
  
X and Zero climb to the top of the totem pole. Then they climb up the walls. Then they zip through the shutter.  
  
WARNING!!!  
  
Two giant ameobas appear. Their nuclei look like eyes.  
  
X: Another giant eye boss. Why is Capcom engrossed with the Yellow Demon/ Black Devil? Is it so attractive to them that they can't stop using it, despite its overall crap level?   
  
Zero: We will discuss poorly-designed bosses later. For now, one eye for each of us.  
  
X: All right!  
  
X dives right into one of the ameobas. The other ameoba pins Zero in a corner and engulfs him.  
  
Zero: Ahh! Digestive juices hurt a lot! I gotta kill it before it kills me...  
  
X: Whooo! Time to test ninja's Giga Attack! GOOOoooooooooOOOOOHHHH!  
  
Two giant cresents of energy revolve around X and repeatedly slice the nucleus. It is destroyed instantly.  
  
Zero continues to struggle, violently picking at the nucleus. The acid burns away at his armor.  
  
Zero (thinking): That strange aura is charging up. But it's not enough to attack. I can't take this much longer... losing consciousness... 


	20. Fu you!

Chapter 20 - Fu you!  
  
X: Zero! Zero! Get up!  
  
Zero: Uh... X?  
  
X: I took some damage so I used another Giga Attack on the second eye. You OK?  
  
Zero: Ow...  
  
X: Man, you're weak. Maybe it's my cool Ninja Armor. Well, let's move on.  
  
Suddenly, a monitor display appears. Gate is on the screen.  
  
Gate: Whazzup, my fumeys?  
  
X: You almost killed Zero, you jerk!  
  
Gate: Really? I didn't fu that.  
  
X: I don't care! Give up, or else...  
  
Gate: Fu. You can't fu me. I have the world's greatest weapon.  
  
X: Since you can't control my guns, you're obviously lying.  
  
Gate: Am I? Then look at fu!  
  
Gate takes out a piece of junk.  
  
X: ...Junk. OK, you're freaking crazy now.  
  
Gate: It has Zero's DNA on it! I have found the ultimate piece of data to fu my robot army off of!  
  
X: WHAT! (Drops Zero.) Listen here, buddy. Who's been saving the world since he was created? Me. Who's died at least twice? Zero. Who is this series named after? Me!  
  
Gate: Actually, my sensors indicate that you died twice before you could beat Commander Yammarch.  
  
X: ...OK, who's plot died at least twice?  
  
Gate: Fu, fu.  
  
X: Right. So what makes you think that he has better DNA?  
  
Gate: ...  
  
X: Yeah? Well?  
  
Gate: Umm... Fu you! I'm going to hide deeper inside my fortress. If you want me, come and fu me!  
  
X: Fu you and your whole family.  
  
Zero: Let's split up, X.  
  
X: You sure, Zero? That cell really beat you up.  
  
Zero: Yes, I'm sure. I can handle it!  
  
X: Well, you should be careful-  
  
Zero: X, I'm FINE! (Zero's eyes begin to glow freakishly, brandishing hints of the power he has recieved.)  
  
X backs off a little.  
  
X: Sorry 'bout that, buddy. I leave this path up to you...  
  
Zero slowly walks away.  
  
X: Hmm... Zero's kinda freaky... He never did explain what was at the laser institute that night.  
  
X's head beeps.  
  
X: I finished deciphering that armor code Zero brought me. Let's look at the specs... Holy crap!!! 


	21. Everyone else says it...

Chapter 21 - Everyone else says it...  
  
Zero reaches another crushing wall section.  
  
Zero: X thinks he's powerful. X thinks he can crush everything. I'LL SHOW HIM!!  
  
Zero's armor turns black. As his fist pounds the ground, the ceiling (and most of the section) is obliterated in a beam of light.  
  
Zero: That ceiling is very annoying and was a dumb gameplay gimmick.  
  
Zero uses his hidden jetpak and flies toward the shutter.  
WARNING!!!  
  
High Max enters the room.  
  
High Max: Zero? Die, original one!  
  
Zero: "Original one?"  
  
High Max: Don't you realize, Zero? Gate used your DNA to create me!  
  
Zero: Wait... What are you saying?  
  
High Max: Zero... I AM YOUR FATHER!!!  
  
Zero: ...No you're not.  
  
High Max: Wait, did I screw that up?  
  
Zero: YES!  
  
High Max: Oh, sorry. Zero... YOU ARE MY FATHER!!!  
  
Zero: NOOOOOO!!! I don't remember sharing my DNA with anyone! It must be a mistake. I don't engage in that kind of activity without protection...  
  
High Max: You lie! YOU KILLED MY MOTHER!!!  
  
Zero: WHAT?  
  
High Max: And you KILLED UNCLE GATE'S CREATIONS!  
  
Zero: I killed some of them. There's a big difference.  
  
High Max: And umm... YOU LOOK REALLY UGLY!!  
  
Zero: ...You're running out of things to say.  
  
High Max: And I CAN'T DIVIDE BY ZERO!! Desmundo!!!  
  
Zero: ...I'm just going to kill you now.  
  
Meanwhile, X destroys more totem poles as cool Shadow Armor X.  
  
X: I'm kick ass ninja!  
  
X reaches a section of the lab that begins raining.  
  
X: More rain... It really burns...  
  
X reaches a point where he has to mid-air dash.  
  
X: Kick ass ninjas can't mid-air dash! Why did Capcom put this here? How am I supposed to cross? 


	22. Zero the Hero

NO! Running out of chapters!  
  
Chapter 22 - Hero the Zero  
  
Zero and High Max begin their climactic battle!  
Despite Zero's attacks, High Max seems invincible.  
  
Zero: Hmmm...  
  
High Max: HAHAHAHAHA!!! I own your bones!  
  
Zero: I don't have bones.  
  
High Max: Hahahahahah!!!!  
  
Zero: Hmm. I wonder how anyone can defeat you?  
  
High Max: You must stun me with a special attack if you wish to damage me!  
  
Zero: ... (smile)  
  
High Max: Aw crap. I didn't say that.  
  
Zero uses Ensuizan and chops the crap out of High Max.  
  
High Max: Father, I thought you loved me...  
  
Zero: This is a real stretch on the definition of "father" you know.  
  
High Max: You're right... I'm sorry. I should really - ackk!!  
  
Zero: Now, to help X.  
  
Meanwhile, X is worn down by the water. He cannot get past the pit without air-dashing, which is impossible for kick ass ninjas...  
  
X: Hmm. I think it's time to try the new armor...  
  
X dons the Ultimate Armor.  
  
X: Seems familiar...  
  
X uses the Nova Strike. He jumps forward and charges straight as a comet. He easily reaches the other side of the pit.  
  
X: Hehe. It is this suit. Cool! I remember you...  
  
X uses the Nova Strike to blow his way through EVERYTHING. Until he reaches the shutter.  
  
WARNING!!!  
  
Gate approaches from above.  
  
X: OK Gate. Surrender, or let me use my cool weaponry on you!  
  
Gate: Fu, fu. I was hoping Zero would be here. I guess I'll have to settle with you, then.  
  
Gate pulls his cape back, M. Bison style. His suit turns golden.  
  
X: ...You're golden. Whatever...  
  
X Nova Strikes through Gate. Gate is undamaged.  
  
X: Huh???  
  
Gate: Fu. Your weapons have no fu on me.  
  
Gate tries to slam into X. He also throws energy balls at him.  
  
X: You must have at least ONE weakness...  
  
X tries all of his weapons on Gate, to no avail. Gate rushes towards him and bathes him an oval of power.  
  
Gate: Fu fu. You are fu compared to me.  
  
X: Ow... There must be something I can do...  
  
The shutter opens, and Zero walks in.  
WARNI-  
  
Zero destroys the WARNING!!!  
  
Zero: Annoying. (sees X) X?  
  
X: Zero...  
  
Gate: It's about fu you came here.  
  
Zero: For what you did to X...  
  
Zero slams his fist into the ground, and most of the arena is destroyed. Gate is fine, though.  
  
Gate: I am invincible, and my energy balls will eventually destroy you!  
  
Zero ponders something to himself.  
  
Zero: Hmm... But can I do it? 


	23. He had to come back

Chapter 23 - He had to come back  
  
Zero kneels and stretches one hand.  
  
Zero: Let's hope this works. Gate's weakness: FORM!!!  
  
The energy balls in the room zip into Zero's hand, then travel onto his Z-saber.  
  
Zero: Your attack is your weakness... I see. You will pay for hurting my friend.  
  
Gate: ...Fu?  
  
Zero runs up and chops Gate's armor off. He then kicks Gate to the ground. X recovers.  
  
X: Zero? You're all black...  
  
Zero: Dr. Light gave me an improvement, so I took advantage of it...  
  
X: I see. And Gate?  
  
Zero: He won't mess with us anymore.  
  
Gate: Fuuuuuuu.....  
  
X: Hmm. We stopped the mad scientist, destroyed his evil robots, and stopped the evil nightmare.  
  
Zero: Yup, I guess that's it, then.  
  
X: Yeah, It's all over.  
  
Zero: Seems so.  
  
X: Yeah, nothing bad can occur from now own.  
  
Zero: Nope. Gate's run out of tricks. Nothing's left.  
  
Silence. Tumbleweeds. Several "...."s.  
  
Gate: Fu? Kuu?  
  
X: Leave that for the Sonic Adventure 2 parody.  
  
Zero: Alright, I can't take this anymore. Gate...  
  
Gate: Fu?  
  
X: This is a Megaman X game.  
  
Gate: Fu.  
  
Zero: We're supposed to fight someone, remember? At the end of EVERY Megaman X game?  
  
Gate: Oh! Right! But it wouldn't make any sense. I depend on Zero's DNA, so why would he be here? I mean, he's usually been the force behind the mayhem. But not this time. I'm the bad guy. It wouldn't make sense...  
  
X: Shuddup. Just do it.  
  
Gate: Fine. Umm... (Waves his arms a bit) I thought up this cool emergency measure. I revived Sigma...  
  
X and Zero: What!!! Sigma??? But how could he survive... Bwahahahahahaha!  
  
X and Zero crack up, laughing.  
  
Zero: Oh look, Sigma's back. How unexpected... Yeah right. Bwahahahahaha!  
  
X: Hey Sigs (snicker), how's it going?  
  
A humanoid reploid wakes up.  
  
Sigma: Please! I didn't need you, Gate. To prove it, I'll blow you away!  
  
Gate is blown away by Sigma's attack.  
  
Gate: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!  
  
Sigma: I'll... stop... X and... Zero... with... power!!!  
  
X: I think his brain melted. Why would he do that to Gate?  
  
Zero: There are enough plotholes already. For now, let's stop him - hey, where'd he go?  
  
X: Let's follow him, and get this game over with.  
  
Zero: Ahh! Game Over!!! Don't say that! 


	24. Part 1 did it correctly

Chapter 24 - Part 1 did it correctly  
  
X and Zero fall down a spike-filled shaft. X uses his Shadow Armor to avoid the spikes, while Black Armor Zero nukes every spike in his way.  
  
They reach a room with eight teleporters.  
  
X: Hey Zero. Eight teleporters.  
  
Zero: Wow. I wonder what's inside of them?  
  
X: MAYBE it's something new and exciting that we've NEVER seen before.  
  
Zero: Yeah, it couldn't possibly be the "Fight the eight bosses again" room...  
  
X and Zero stare at each other, smiling. They can't hold it anymore.  
  
X and Zero: Bwahahahahahahaha! LOL! ROTFLOL! WTFLOL! IMacLOL! AOHellLOL! PSXLOL!  
  
X: You know, only Megaman X was creative enough to NOT have this room.  
  
Zero: Hey, Megaman 1 didn't have it. And Megaman 2 was the first one to do it. Give them credit for originality.  
  
X: Don't forget Rockman and Forte.  
  
Zero: We're in the US. We're not supposed to know about that game.  
  
X: Right. Well, we can discuss more of this once we finish off the bosses. Let's go!  
  
X and Zero enter teleporters.  
  
X fights Infinity Mijinion.  
  
X: No! Not Infinity Teddy Bear!  
  
IM: Damn it! Why do you keep calling me that?  
  
IM fires at X. X uses the Guard Shell to deflect the shot back at IM. IM is pinned against the wall. X runs up and chops him into little pieces.  
  
X: What IS a "Mijinion," anyway?  
  
Zero fights Shield Sheldon.  
  
SS: Haha! I am back. You won't catch me off guard that easily again! Once I finish this speech, you'll be in a world of pain! I have constructed a super shield that will nullify your attacks! Then I will use the uberlaser and burn your CPU into nothingness! Prepare for your upcoming destruction, Zero! HAHAHAHAHA-  
  
Zero used this time to plant an oversized metal sword into SS's skull.  
  
Zero: You talk too much...  
  
X fights Blizzard Wolfang.  
  
X: ...You suck.  
  
BW: Well, I can make-  
  
BW is bathed in wave of firebirds. The charred remains fall at X's feet.  
  
X: Why did I even waste my weapon energy on you?  
  
Zero fights Commander Yammarch.  
  
Zero: Hello.  
  
CY: ...You're going to call me boobhead, aren't you?  
  
Zero: I wasn't thinking about that. But now that you mention it...  
  
CY: GRRRRR!!! I'm getting tired of people calling me that! I'll make all of you pay! Don't you dare think I'm a pushover just because I'm the first boss-  
  
Zero carves CY a new piehole.  
  
Zero: Wait... What's a piehole? Damn author... 


	25. Must stall... for another chapter!

Chapter 25 - Must stall... for another chapter!  
  
X and Zero continue their battle against the Nightmare Investigators!  
  
X fights Metal Shark Player.  
  
MSP: Come, my pretties! Magna Centipede, Sting Chameleon, Blast Hornet! Destroy X!  
  
The junk forms the bosses from previous MMX games.  
  
X: Hey, I remember you guys. Now, If I remember correctly...  
  
X runs to each of them and pushes a button on each of their armors.  
  
X: OK boys... get 'im!  
  
Magna Centipede pins MSP with his tail. Sting Chameleon turns invisible and whips MSP silly while Blast Hornet nukes MSP with several homing missiles.  
  
X: I never told Zero about those buttons... I wonder how he handled them?  
  
Zero fights Ground Scaravich.  
  
GS runs into the arena carrying a gigantic rock.  
  
Zero: I don't have to put up with this.  
  
Zero nukes the rock. GS runs away and brings a larger rock. Zero nukes that rock. GS runs away and brings an even larger rock. Zero continues nuking until the rock is too big for GS to carry.  
  
GS: Umm...  
  
Zero: Pathetic.  
  
Zero runs in and chops GS into itty bitty bits.  
  
Zero: "itty bitty bits?" Damn author...  
  
X fights Rainy Turtloid.  
  
RT: You're not as cool as Zero. At least he could use his sword to weaken my shield.  
  
X: Hmph. So could kick ass ninja!  
  
X runs in front of Rainy Turtloid and uses the Shadow Armor's Giga Attack. Two large cresents emerge from X and circle around him. RT is shelled and then diced into bite size pieces. Before the attack ends.  
  
X: Kick ass ninjas rule forever!  
  
Zero fights Blaze Heatnix.  
  
BH: You can't trick me this time! Magma form: Bottom!  
  
Zero swims through the magma and chops BH's wings off from below.  
  
BH: Hey, you can't do that!  
  
BH falls into the magma.  
  
Zero: Ask me if I care.  
  
BH: ... Do you care?  
  
Zero: I hate wiseasses.   
  
Zero stabs BH in the head.  
  
Zero: Gotta keep my powers in check...  
  
X and Zero return to the "eight teleporters" room.  
  
X: Oh look. A ninth teleporter has appeared!  
  
Zero: How surprising. I did not expect that-  
  
X and Zero break out laughing.  
  
X: God bless Capcom's soul.  
  
Zero: Let's kick Sigma in the pants already.  
  
They step through the teleporter...  
  
  
  
  
YES! THE AUTHOR MANAGED TO STALL FOR ANOTHER EPISODE!!!  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!  
  
You win...Perfect!  
Flawless... Victory!  
Supreme Victory!  
Great!  
Congratulations!  
1st Place!  
A Fatality... 


	26. SZX Tricky

Zero nukes everything but the shutter away.  
  
X: This is it Zero... The door that leads to the final fight against Sigma...  
  
Zero: Before we go, X. I just wanted to say... I love you.  
  
X: ?  
  
Zero: As a friend!  
  
X: Oh...  
  
Zero (thinking): Who am I kidding? I should have told him back in MMX5, right before I left to destroy the colony!  
  
(flashback. Zero is in the cockpit of a space shuttle.)  
  
Zero: OK, I'll pilot the space shuttle into the colony, then eject at the last second.  
  
Alia: Why couldn't X do this?  
  
Signas: The idiot never learned how to pilot a space shuttle.  
  
X: Hey! I was too busy fighting the Repliforce to learn how.  
  
Alia: Didn't stop Zero.  
  
Zero: Oh geez, I forgot. X?  
  
X: Yeah?  
  
Zero: Um... We're really good friends, right?  
  
X: Yeah. Of course.  
  
Zero: Well, I just wanted to say that I... um... Well, I-  
  
Alia: Blastoff! (Shoves Signas out of the way and slams onto the launch button.) Oh look, the shuttle left. Lost communications, too. What a shame.  
  
X: I guess so...  
  
Zero: Ack! Can't say it! Might lose popularity.  
  
(end of flashback)  
  
WARNING!!!  
  
Sigma's back! But his robes are worn, and he can barely walk.  
  
X: Sigma?  
  
Sigma: I...cool...you...die...  
  
Zero: He doesn't seem complete. Like he's barely able to think.  
  
Sigma: Load...weapons...  
  
X: Seems good enough to shoot, though.  
  
Sigma fires a giant wave at them. Zero deflects it while X shoots at Sigma.  
  
Zero: Finally, I deflected it!  
  
X: Yes, I've broken his armor! Time to finish this!  
  
Sigma throws a small wave at X.  
  
Zero: NOOOO!! X!!!  
  
Zero pushes X out of the way and takes the hit. Zero is blown back several feet.  
  
X: Zero! Damn you Sigma!!!  
  
X fires his fully charged shot at Sigma. Sigma is destroyed. X runs to Zero.  
  
X: Zero! Zero! Your armor's been blown off!  
  
Zero's armor returns to his standard red.  
  
Zero: X, that attack hurt. I don't think I can move...  
  
X: Damn it! And we know Sigma has a second form...  
  
Zero: It is up to you, X. Stop Sigma and save this world before he fully regains consciousness!  
  
X: Thanks Zero. I'm sorry about making you get hit. I'll take him down... for both of us!  
  
  
  
  
  
YES! THE AUTHOR STALLS FOR YET ANOTHER CHAPTER!  
(Sonic Adventure 2 Stage Clear theme plays)  
Life 10000  
Time 5000  
Ring 20/3597  
Total 15000  
  
Rank: E  
  
E? Dammit! 


	27. Climaticismnesslessess

Chapter 27 - Climaticismnesslessess  
  
The arena grows dark.  
WARNING!!!  
  
X: Of course there's a second form of Sigma. There's ALWAYS a second form of Sigma.  
  
The screen finally lights up. A large metallic skeleton a la Terminator appears. The head is like Sigma's (if Sigma had a skull.)  
  
X: Oh, another screen tall robot. Why hasn't Capcom thought up a really cool final boss for me to fight?  
  
Sigma: Hahahaha... 2D platformer... No one likes...  
  
X: HEY! Lots of people like 2D platformers! How else can Nintendo sell 4.7 million Game Boy Advances?  
  
Sigma: But... we on Playstation... 3D...  
  
X: It can barely handle it! 300,000 polygons, whoop-de-do! Doom looks so much better and it barely needed them.  
  
Sigma: People... buy games... franchise...  
  
X: Yeah, they're all idiots. Buying a game just because it's another sequel from a series... Each and every single one of them is an idiot.  
  
X blinks. Then he stares at the camera.  
  
X: ...Except for those great Megaman fans who buy high quality games like Megaman X6, of course.  
  
Sigma: Zero! Zellllooooo!  
  
X: Oh right, I have to kill you now.  
  
Sigma opens his mouth. The cannon inside fires a gigantic ray at X. X's Ultimate Armor is blown to pieces as he is thrown against the arena's non-existent wall.  
  
X: No... Have I failed? Losing consciousness... must hang on...  
  
A vision of a ninja wearing a Hannya mask appears.  
  
Ninja: True kick ass ninjas NEVER fail, X.  
  
X: What? Hannya?  
  
Hannya: Yellow Pikmin... what do they carry?  
  
X: Bomb rocks.  
  
Hannya: And what do they say when they grab the bomb rocks?  
  
X: Whoa!  
  
Hannya: And what do you think about me?  
  
X: Hannya Rocks!  
  
Hannya: X, if you are a true kick ass ninja... You must know what happens next.  
  
X: ...Of course! I will not fail you, Hannya!  
  
Hannya: Good. Now I must return to Japan and kick some ass for lord Aoshi.  
  
The vision dissapears. X wakes up in his Shadow Armor.  
  
X: Kick ass ninjas FOREVER! Switch weapon to P-cannon!  
  
As Sigma's mouth opens, X jumps on Sigma's face and fires the P-cannon into his mouth. Millions of Yellow bomb-rock-carrying Pikmin are forced into Sigma's system. As they collide into his joints, wires, and CPU's, the bomb-rocks explode. The collateral dmage quickly piles up.  
  
Sigma: Ahh!! It hurts!!!  
  
X: Gotcha. I don't have time to waste here. I have a world to clean up.  
  
Sigma: We'll meet again, X.  
  
X: We always meet again. And this is always what happens.  
  
Sigma: But... How did you know...  
  
X: Bomb-rocks.  
  
Sigma: Of course. Hannya rocks! Whooooooooooaaaaaaa!!!!  
  
The explosions take their toll and Sigma is roasted from the inside out.  
  
X: Time to get out of here. No doubt Sigma's death will blow up the base.  
  
X escapes with Zero and Gate just before the base explodes in all of its fade-to-white glory.  
  
X: "Fade to white glory?" Zero was right. Damn Author... 


	28. I write too much

Chapter 28 - I write too much  
  
X makes it outside of Gate's Fortress before it explodes. Out of exhaustion, he drops Gate and Zero's body next to him. X then notices that he has no armor.  
  
X: Hey, my armor! And my weapons! I lost them all again. This happens every time I beat Sigma and destroy his giant base. Almost as if it were a plot device...  
  
Alia arrives at the scene.  
  
Alia: ZERO!  
  
Alia picks up Zero's unconscious body and holds it tightly.  
  
X: Umm... Alia, I brought Gate too.  
  
Alia: AND? Zero's so injured...  
  
X: I brought Gate because he was a good friend of yours.  
  
Zero finally awakens. He attempts to Hydroga out of Alia's grasp but he jumps instead.  
  
Zero:...I have no special attacks... You beat Sigma.  
  
X: Yup.  
  
Alia: So, this is what happened, Gate.  
  
X: He tried to revive Sigma and that was his reward.  
  
Alia: YOU KILLED GATE?  
  
X: No, Sigma did.  
  
Zero: Why did you bring him back, anyway?  
  
X: I know how it feels to lose your friends.  
  
Zero: Oh right... sorry about dying back then... Wait. No. You left me for dead!  
  
Alia: You... did... WHAT!  
  
X: Um No I didn't, Zero. You were critically damaged, and there was nothing I could do.  
  
Alia: Oh, OK. I thought you let him die. I would have had to kill you.  
  
X: Oh sure, like you could kill me. What would you hit me with?  
  
Alia: My text stopper.  
  
X: Your what?  
  
Zero: Not THE text stopper from MMX5!  
  
A large rock appears above X.  
  
X: Oh crap, I'd better move!  
  
Before X can dash, a large text box appears at the top of the screen. The box halts all movement.  
  
Alia: Eat text stopper and DIE!!!  
  
The box clears and time continues, but X's timing is screwed up, and the rock quickly crushes him.  
  
Zero: It didn't have to be that big, Alia.  
  
X: So THAT's what kept happening in Burn Dinorex's stage... You know, you should give me that weapon.  
  
Alia: Shutup. Pick up Gate so we can take him back and try to repair him. Zero, you can teleport with me...  
  
Alia clutches Zero and teleports away.  
  
X: You know, the story for this episode was pointless and unfulfilling, unlike MMX5.  
  
X teleports away, with Gate in his grasp. After that, two doctors enter the area. One of them is Dr. Light. The other is quite wily...  
  
Dr. Light: Hmm. They did it again.  
  
Wily guy: Yup... Well, I'll rebuild Sigma AGAIN.  
  
Dr. Light: And I'll think up the special powers to give X and Zero.  
  
Wily guy: Do you think this will be the last episode?  
  
Dr. Light: With that Mega Man Zero game coming out on Game Boy Advance? Probably. I mean, I don't think the public can take this low-quality crap anymore.  
  
Wily guy: Maybe we should have achieved closure with this episode, instead of just leaving a question mark ending like we did with the original Mega Man.  
  
Dr. Light: Hmm... Maybe Capcom will get smart and bundle all of the Mega Man games into one CD or DVD.  
  
Wily guy: We can only hope. We can only hope.  
  
THE END  
  
FIN  
  
FINALE  
  
FINAL ROUND.... FIGHT!!!  
  
Knuckles, when he dies: It's over...  
  
AOHell, when you signoff: Goodbye!  
  
  
  
No wait, I'm kidding. Bonus Epilogue tomorrow! 


	29. Epilogui

Epilogui  
  
X, Zero, Alia, and Gate return to Hunter Base. Without Hydroga, Zero cannot escape form the grasp of Alia, Signas, and the other insignificant Hunter Base characters (heck, LifeSaver just dissapears for some unknown reason.)  
  
X drops Gate in a healing chamber and notices someone.  
  
X: Hmm... It's you!  
  
Meanwhile, in the main room...  
  
Zero: For the last time, NO!  
  
Zero pulls out his Z-Saber and swings it madly. Everyone backs off.  
  
X: Hey, look who I found!  
  
X walks in, holding Isoc.  
  
Alia: Isoc?  
  
Signas: Isoc? Oh right... him. I almost forgot about him.  
  
Zero: Am I the only one who shouldn't know about him?  
  
X: Pretty much. (Turns to Isoc) OK buddy, you've got a lot of explaning to do.  
  
Isoc: Not by the hairs of my chinny chin chin!  
  
X: ...Um...That was a weird line.  
  
Zero: Hey, try tugging on his beard. Why does he have a beard?  
  
X: That's like asking why you have hair, Zero.  
  
As Zero wonders why he has hair (since it serves only to get in his way,) X tugs on Isoc's beard. But the beard was actually part of a mask!!  
  
X: What the?  
  
Zero: (thinking) Well, the hair does make me look cool...  
  
Alia: Huh?  
  
Signas: Wait! Can't be! You're...  
  
X: Shigeru Miyamoto?  
  
The mask reveals the face of the man who made Mario, Donkey Kong, Link, and pretty much everything else Nintendo is known for.  
  
Zero: (Still pondering) Plus, people like blond guys. What's the word? Bishohen? Bisnohen? Bishonen? Was that it?  
  
X: But...Why?  
  
SM: The only other series to even stand close to my marvels... Mega Man has produced a gameplay formula that works so well it can be repeated over and over again and still sell like pancakes.  
  
Signas: I still don't follow you.  
  
SM: Don't you see? The other series have screwed up at least once. So I had to make sure you would fail...  
  
Zero: Well, the fansites say that I'm really hot and they want me and X to... Whoa. Well, I have thought about it, but... I don't think X would really want to...  
  
X: YOU set this crappy game up? But... it sucked so much... Everyone will look at this game like it's crappy!  
  
SM: Now you understand.  
  
X: But... because the Megaman series is in 2D, it relies on good gameplay to keep it alive. My Falcon Armor, the terrible "rescue the civilians" task, Zero's unexplained reappearance, the crushing ceilings, Sigma's poorly explained reappearance, Gate's Fuing everything... IT MADE NO SENSE! YOU RUINED MEGAMAN X6!  
  
Zero: (checking fanfic sites) Wow, there's a giant discussion about what my sexual preference is. Who cares, anyway? It doesn't really matter. The point is, I am trying to save the world, and X is my best friend.  
  
SM: Yes, now Capcom is discredited! Megaman truly made a terrible game! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!  
  
SM's maniacal laughter snaps Zero out of his trance.  
  
Zero: Whoops...  
  
Zero reads the script.  
  
Zero: That's why we fought Metal Shark Player?  
  
SM: Heehee...  
  
Zero: But, I thought Capcom pledged to make Resident Evil series exclusive to the Nintendo GameCube.  
  
SM: Heeeheee- Wait, you're right.  
  
Zero: Why would you sabotage Capcom if it's going to breathe some new life into the GameCube and shake off rumors that Nintendo is a "kiddie company?"  
  
SM: Ummm...Uhh...Well... that is to say... delays... Umm.... bye!  
  
SM throws several smoke bombs, slips out of X's grasp, and hops on a bicycle.  
  
SM: (quickly) Bike, bike, bike, bike, drive, drive, drive, drive, swim, swim, swim, swim, fly, fly, fly, fly, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, train, train, train, train, drill, drill, drill, drill!  
  
SM rides the bike to a getaway car. He then drives to the lake and dives in. He swims to the airport where a private jet is waiting for him. He takes the jet and flies to the spaceport, where a spaceship takes him to the moon. A mysterious train (think Doomtrain from FF8) takes him from the moon to a secret island in the middle of nowhere. He rides an high-powered drillmobile that takes him deep below the surface to the ultra-secret Nintendo R&D underground base. SM steps into the base, where several suckups are waiting.  
  
SM: (Just like Fox McCloud in Super Smash Brothers Melee) Mission Comprete!  
  
Suckups: YAAAAAAAAAY!  
  
Back in Hunter Base, the smoke finally clears.  
  
Alia: He's gone!  
  
X: Wow. I actually got to hold him. He's so COOL!  
  
Signas: On the flip side, he ruined Megaman X6!  
  
Zero walks toward them, carrying a giant stack of papers.  
  
Zero: There. That's all of the fanfics about me. These should answer all of my questions about me.  
  
X: Well, I guess this is a crappy ending to the Megaman X series. Let's hope I turn evil soon so Zero can start his own series.  
  
Alia, Signas: What? Turn evil?  
  
Zero: Sorry what were you saying? I was busy reading.  
  
X: Oh, nothing, nothing. I'll be in my room.  
  
X retreats into his room.  
  
X: Capcom figured out my evil nature, just like Sigma and G did. I'll show them! I'll show ALL of them!!  
  
The end?  
  
Well, yes. Umm...  
  
What do I do now?  
  
Read my other fanfics! Yeah, that's it...  
  
OKAY, now it actually is THE END. 


End file.
